By Phillippa Konow
STAFF WRITER
I can remember it clearly. It was the middle of my Modern World History class. It was presentation day! We had worked on group projects for the Industrial Revolution all week, finding information on the revolutionary inventions. I was in the middle of presenting the first part of my project when I felt a pain in my chest. It hurt. While I’m trying to hide it, I hiccuped so loud, it could be heard from the other side of my house. My hiccups aren’t the normal quiet ones. No. Far from it. They sound like a goat bleating, so you can imagine the embarrassment I felt when my camera AND microphone are on, displaying my horrified, strawberry colored face to the 25 other people in the class. And. My. Teacher.
Many students, like myself, dislike being on camera because it can be incredibly stressful. Many stress about the background around them, feel like everyone is secretly judging them, or become embarrassed when a parent or sibling walks by. Many of us have had those little times when we forget our camera or mic is on, and that wave of embarrassment washes over us. It’s normal! However, even with this system being in use for over a year, many, like myself, still feel it’s a very abnormal way to learn. Students and teachers are missing the in-person feel and the connections between each other, as well as the quick feedback environment. I certainly miss the engaging conversations in the classroom.
“Online schooling is different,” said remote junior Mishaal Khan. “When we are sitting in a classroom a majority of the time, the students are all facing one way, toward the teacher. However, when we are on a Google Meet, everyone can see each other, and you never know when someone is looking at you.”
Many students, like myself, can be very self conscious, and feeling like anybody could be staring at you can be very uncomfortable. However, there are also many students who don’t mind the cameras and actually find it difficult to concentrate with them off. For example, Shanon Chu, a remote sophomore, said, “It’s easier for me to get distracted when my camera is off.” Another student, who wished to be anonymous, commented, “I think cameras are important for both the students and the teachers. Remote learning is already hard due to distance, so by turning on our cameras, we can get a better sense of belonging so that we can feel like we [are in a] classroom.”
Some students are neutral on the topic. Senior Alex Grenon said, “I feel uncomfortable having my camera on depending on how I feel that day… When other students have their camera on, I feel more comfortable having my camera on.”
Many teachers dislike remote learning as it is harder to connect with students, especially when many have their cameras off. As the daughter of an educator, I have seen my father upset on occasions when his students don’t have their cameras on. Many teachers at the high school share the same reaction. Krista Hibino, a math teacher for remote and hybrid, feels that having cameras off makes it much harder to read the room. “It definitely helps me as a teacher when I can see people’s faces, and I don’t like talking to a screen or wondering if anyone is even listening.”
Ralph Bledsoe, a chemistry and physical science teacher for remote and hybrid, added, “When I’m using the Big Blue Button and no one turns their camera on, I’m just talking to a computer and that’s just not right. I would like to see [the students] frankly… I’m not exactly going to go to their house and hit them on their head and make them turn on their cameras… but I would rather that they would have their cameras on.” Talking to a screen full of student icons can make an educator feel lonely.
Toni Kirby, a social worker for AHS, has had many conversations with students this year about cameras. She said, “I would say about one-third of the students on my caseload have at least some concern about the camera being on, from being mildly uncomfortable being seen and talking on screen, to being petrified to talk and feeling almost paranoid about being judged by others.”
Paranoia can be very restraining for a person and can cause a huge amount of anxiety and mistrust. I myself feel paranoid with the camera on. Kirby mentioned, “Some students have diagnosed mental health conditions that can make it very difficult to speak up in large groups… so communicate with teachers.” Teachers are willing to help their students feel comfortable during these calls which can be very stressful for some. Just reach out to your teacher and communicate what is going on. Also, reach out to your guidance counselor! They are a great resource for tips and tricks and can help reach out to your teachers as well. Kirby added, “I could see a student’s learning experience be diminished if they are so concerned about getting called on that they can’t pay attention to what’s going on in class.”
I know that remote learning isn’t an ideal way of learning, but it is certainly a great option. You can still get the education you deserve and a bit of social interaction during the day. As a remote student, I find that it is great to see my fellow classmates’ faces because I get some sort of normal feeling. Even though the fact that I’m in my room doing classes on a computer and not in an actual classroom is a bit strange, it’s created a sort of constant which has helped a lot.
Having anxiety myself, unorganized schedules and hectic environments can make my symptoms much more intense. However, other people have it differently. Anxiety is different for every individual which is why it is a serious thing. It can be almost mentally debilitating for many. If you are stressed with anything going on in school, whether it’s cameras during class or an assignment, communicate! Guidance counselors and teachers are willing to help.
This is a difficult year for everyone, but we can get through this as a team. (I know it sounds cheesy and like a fortune cookie told you, but it’s true.) Remember to focus on the good things that have happened this year and remember the funny moments. I will always remember my goat-hiccup in the middle of my history presentation for how hilarious it was and how embarrassing it was… and how it is now in a newspaper article that everyone can read.
